Like I've done with all of my kids, I like to look back on their birth story a year later. We've been pretty open about the fact that my pregnancy with Graham was a total surprise. My fertility issues were a pretty easy fix, but he was my only pregnancy that came without any fertility drugs (with the exception of a miscarriage between Brooke and Miles), and we had settled on three kids being the right number for us. So, when I took a pregnancy test on December 23, 2015, it was the first one that I'd taken that we weren't expecting to take and that was a shock to both of us. (I still remember driving to the grocery store in silence shortly after taking it and trying to get my head around the idea of a fourth child.) And what an amazing surprise he was.
I was due with Graham on August 25. We went out for pizza with the Bordners the night before, and Scott made some kind of reference to my water breaking and I confidently said that "my water doesn't break." With all of the other births, they broke the water once I was in the hospital. Cut to 3:30 the next morning, when I got up for one of my multiple bathroom breaks. I was done going to the bathroom, but liquid kept coming out. There was no mistaking it - my water had broken. I expected to feel a bunch of intense contractions at that point, but nothing really changed outside of a flurry of mild contractions. (I'd been having contractions on and off for a week or so prior.)
I went back to bed. I woke Matt up and told him that my water had broken, so we'd need to go to the hospital in the morning, but that he could go back to sleep because nothing was happening at this point. I think I also texted my family in St. Louis at that point to give them a head's up that the baby would be coming at some point the next day. (I'm glad this was my fourth so I knew what was going on. If this had happened with Brooke, I'm sure I'd have gone to the hospital immediately.) Of course I couldn't fall back asleep. I was hoping the contractions would pick up but they didn't really.
The kids woke up like normal and we were able to have breakfast with them (I don't think I ate for fear of puking again) and give them baths, which as silly as it sounds made me feel settled as we headed to the hospital. Matt's parents came over around 9:30 and we were off. The kids were excited for their new brother to get here.
We went to triage and they seemed skeptical that my water had broken. She did the test - of course I was right - and told us we'd be staying. I was 4 cm dilated at that point and my contractions were about 10 minutes apart. Things were moving slowly, so I agreed to getting Pitocin around 12. (I don't remember details on why I felt this way, but I wasn't a huge fan of the nurse I had in the morning. She felt pretty aloof and disinterested. Thankfully she was gone by the time I got the Pitocin.) By around 1:15, the contractions were about 6 minutes apart and getting stronger, so I asked for the epidural. I was 6 cm at that point. The epidural came around 2:30 when the contractions were 3 minutes apart. I have to say, I think it was the best epidural that I had. It took the edge off of the contractions, but I could still feel my legs, as well as the pressure from the contractions. I was complete an hour later, at 3:24.
I pushed twice and they had me stop due to the cord around his neck. They got that off and after one more push, he was out. There was an EMT in the room observing a birth for the first time, so that was fun. Graham Brian Alley came out at 3:34 pm, weighing 7 lb, 9 oz and 21 in. long. We actually didn't have his name until our kids came in the room to meet him. We knew that Brian would be his middle name immediately, but we'd been debating between Wade and Graham and I gave Matt the ultimate decision. That's a whole other blog post, though.
The Timmermans made it up by that afternoon and once again graciously watched our other kids during the day. Matt made the wise decision to sleep at home.
It was pretty magical to see the kids meet Graham. Miles said, "Can I hold my brother?"
Paige was a pretty typical 2 1/2 year old about the whole thing, happy to see him at first, but also wanting attention from her mommy.
When you're on your fourth child, the nurses kind of leave you alone, which was nice. We got a decent amount of rest. I kept him in the room with me the first night (CDH was pushing it), but the second night I told them that I was going home to three other kids and could use at least one decent night's sleep and they obliged. One of our nurses was our neighbor from Carol Stream, so that was kind of fun.
We were able to get out of the hospital by lunchtime on Tuesday, which was nice because we were able to get home in time to take Miles to his speech class at Madison and pick Brooke up from school. Basically get right back into the swing of things.
I've said many times in the past year that this fourth child has thrown me more than any of the others. And it's not at all because he was a hard baby. It might have been because he was born at such a busy time of year, with back to school, or because I was also dealing with first grade girl drama and Miles' and Paige's speech issues? Whatever the reason, I honestly feel like it took until this summer for me to feel like I had a relative handle on things.
Graham is definitely our last baby (thank you, Dr. Challenger) and I've really tried to savor as many snuggles and night time feedings as I could with him. But it's never enough and goes much, much too fast. Maybe that's another reason I was "out of it" in other aspects of life, but it's a trade I would gladly make any time and was yet another great lesson from God in how little we're actually able to control. This past year has been a great one and we could not be more thankful for the addition of sweet little Graham to our family.
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